My son and I still have a good relationship. Of course, it’s nothing like it used to be. We used to be very close. As he’s grown older and gotten even more entrenched in his lifestyle choices, we’ve grown apart. He tells me he’s busy. He’s very successful in his line of work (IT). He’s very active in a gay-themed sports association playing volleyball and other sports. He participates in “pageants” or drag shows to raise money for the association. Those videos/photos are quite disturbing, and I do not intentionally see them; some just pop up as I’m scrolling social media. This is NOT how I ever envisioned seeing my SON. He’s “engaged” to a much older man, although not as old as the first one, who was MY age. They have been wearing “wedding bands” for quite some time, which I don’t understand. He says it’s just for signaling commitment. This is long-term relationship #3. All have been at least 10 years older. I have met the last 2. Number 2 was okay. He was quiet but apparently treated my son quite terribly near the end of their relationship. The current one is not my cup of tea. He has been married to a woman before and has 3 sons; the oldest is autistic, and the youngest either just graduated from high school or will this coming year. I have not met them and don’t intend to or see a need for such. He likes to make anti-religious comments, although I believe he grew up Lutheran. He makes such comments in my presence, which I find to be thoroughly distasteful! It comes with the territory. The last I heard, and not from my son I might add, they are planning on being “married” in the fall in a surprise murder mystery-type thing. I suppose I’m not invited, which is fine. I don’t see myself attending. It would be too traumatic for me. I would make a scene unintentionally, as I did when attending a chorale performance in which he was performing. He had invited my husband and I to attend this performance several years ago. We reluctantly went but wanted to support him. Most of the members of the chorale are gay. The performance was quite gay, although he told me he didn’t think it would be. We were very uncomfortable but nevertheless stayed. At the end, I left my seat quite abruptly and headed down the stairs where I ran into all of the chorale members as they were leaving the stage. I hugged my son and asked if he wanted to come visit with us at the hotel where we were staying. He declined. I bolted from the auditorium and ran screaming and crying down the street in downtown Dallas. I suppose I had what could be called a panic attack. I’ve not experienced anything quite like that before and don’t want to again. That is the very reason that I feel I cannot attend such a “wedding”, so my feelings are not hurt that I’m not invited.
Everything I see in the natural is VERY disheartening and downright disturbing. In order to keep my sanity, I MUST keep my eyes on Jesus and my heart tuned to the Word of God. If you are traveling this difficult journey with me, I encourage you to do the same. Read God’s Word; meditate on it. He alone will help you along this rocky, treacherous road. Let God speak to your heart and give you a Word of encouragement. Bear in mind, I’m not suggesting that you take this verse as your own unless God has laid it on your heart. Search the Scripture, and He will give you a Word in due season.
Keep the faith!