We've started singing a new version of an old hymn at the church I attend called "It is Well". The first time we sang it, I cried through most of it. A lady came over afterward to hug me and say she was praying for me. All I could do was bawl, and I said to her, "But it's not well!"
Things haven't been well with me since July of this past year when my nice, boring life without drama all changed, since the child I thought I knew confessed something I didn't want to know, since my world was rocked with hurt and betrayal when the lies of the enemy were believed by my child who knows truth yet refuses to see it.
We sang that song again this past week. I've always loved the hymn, "It is Well", so when we sang it this time, I focused more on those words. I still cried through a large portion of it, maybe most of it, but not all of it. I could eek out a few words this time. I shifted my focus though on the faith aspect of it. No, right now, it's not well. For months now, it's not been well. But by faith, in the spirit realm, it IS well. God still knows exactly what's going on. He still knows when the right time is to reach my son. While He's not in control of my son because my son hasn't allowed Him to be, He's still in control. God's a gentleman and won't push His way into anyone's life. If He did, we would all be robots and not loving and serving Him for who He is by an act of the will that He gave us. Part of being created in the image of God is having a free will. God wants us to choose Him not be forced into serving like a slave. As Paul put it, we are to be bond servants of Christ, permanent servants to Him purchased with the ultimate price, the blood of Jesus. (See Romans 1:1, Titus 1:1, and 1 Corinthians 6:20.)
Here's the YouTube link.
http://youtu.be/Txg5nOIZYO8
Here are the lyrics to the song. It's by Bethel from the album, You Make Me Brave, which is also a great song.
Grander earth has quaked before
Moved by the sound of His voice
Seas that are shaken and stirred
Can be calmed and broken for my regard
Through it all, through it all
My eyes are on You
Through it all, through it all
It is well
Through it all, through it all
My eyes are on You
It is well with me
Far be it from me to not believe
Even when my eyes can't see
And this mountain that's in front of me
Will be thrown into the midst of the sea
Through it all, through it all
My eyes are on You
Through it all, through it all
It is well
So let go my soul and trust in Him
The waves and wind still know His name [repeat last line during 3rd run]
[x3]
It is well with my soul
It is well with my soul
It is well with my soul
It is well with my soul
[repeat 3x]
It is well it is well with my soul [x3]
ahhhhhhh (softly)
Through it all, through it all
My eyes are on You Lord
Through it all, through it all
It is well with me.
[x2]
I'm going to sing this song one day without crying through it because I know that even though I can't see it with my natural eyes, it is well.